Desultory Delights: No. 3

♥ Chanel guillotines & unicorn swings
♥ A nice final resting place
♥ Amazing toaster!
♥ Ever wondered how a sewing machine works?
♥ Figure our your psychological profile based on your tweets
♥ Just say NO! Well put, Nicolette. OC is double OC* sometimes.
♥ I'd give my left arm for this right about now
♥ The Hills vs. The City -I vote for the latter
♥ Simple keys to a happier day
♥ R blew his cover, because he is a masochist.
♥ No words is right! Check out this insanely long video of a pug pushing a stroller.
♥ On that note, remember kids: PUGS NOT DRUGS (unless they're prescription drugs)


*out of control

photo via twink

65!

Mumsy! You made it another year! Happy, happy birthday! Love you to bits and pieces.

Auditory Prozac: NPR Personalities

NPR hosts & correspondents always have the best names. It's as if having a buttery moniker is a prerequisite for employment. Here are a few of my faves:

• Steve Inskeep
• Guy Raz
• Soraya Sarhaddi Nelson
• Kai Ryssdal
• Neda Ulaby
• Carl Kasell
• Corey Flintoff

Who did I leave off? Who are your faves?


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

• Lakshmi Signh
• Mara Liasson
• Nina Totenberg
• Chery Glaser
• Renee Montagne
• Michelle (ME-shell) Norris

Olivier Theyskens Outside the Grand Palais // Aurora Over Alaska

via jak&jil and nasa pic of the day

SCORPSCORES

I found this awesome Signs of the Zodiac record at Eastside yesterday.

Hey baby, what's your sign?

It's like this and like that and like this and uh

Remember when rap was good???? Nothing like good ol' late 80s/early 90s rap. There was something raw and honest about it back in the day. I think Puff Daddy/P. Diddy & protégés pretty much destroyed it with all this gulf stream/money/strippers/platinum flashiness nonsense.

Gin & Juice > Cristal

Team Macho via Stampede

I'd be laughing too...

Every once in a while, I'll see the craziest keyword searches for W&M. After coming across this one, I decided to do some research for myself. It turns out the hyena has the largest clitoris in zee world. Next time someone asks you that silly "if you could be any animal" question, you should be well prepared!

(EDIT: "research" = a google image search for a giantor vadge to post)

Haikute!

hi, happy thursday

i made this furball for you

off to the airport

.

to pick up my boo

hope your day is off to a

good start, xo G.

Do not adjust your screens...

“If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less.”

-General Eric Ken Shinseki

new babies

incredibly comfortable

This is how it feels

when you're gone, and it's no fun

Honey, hurry home.

by Nelly Agassi

via YMFY

The brown bandit strikes again!

Hmm... every time I try to take my daddin' to see Inglourious Basterds (3rd attempt in just as many weeks), he seems to come down with a mysterious case of diarrhea (for serious) and "can't leave the house." I'm beginning to think he ain't much of a Tarantino fan.

Apropos

Dear Melody,

Thank you so much for the adorable little snail! You must be a mind reader. How else could you have known that I collect the JA menagerie?!? Also, very apropos that I'm thanking you here at a snail's pace, no? You're beyond thoughtful and kind.

Yours ever,
Gracie

HELP!

EEP! I need your help! I'm going to DC for work next month and I haven't a clue what to do there for an entire week. So far, I only have places to eat. I plan to get my nom on at Eric Ripert's bistro, while crossing fingers under the table for silver fox sightings and Marcel's for their famous lobster two ways bisque.

Do you have any pointers or must sees? Know of any cool shopping spots? Any information would leave me forever in your debt. Thanks in advance!

Pinch me!

Tina Fey AND Ricky Gervais?!?!?!

U.F.: Ring Edition Vol. 1 Part 2

Sally Singer's sublime signet

via theSelby

Couplandisms, abridged

Nothing very very good and nothing very very bad ever lasts for very very long.

Telling people they look relaxed makes them look relaxed.


Your body isn’t just a body. It’s an ecosystem.


Being asked what animal you’d like to be is a trick question; you’re already an animal.


It’s difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you.


Your brain forms roughly 10,000 new cells every day, but unless they hook up to preexisting cells with strong memories, they die. Serves them right.


The capacity for not feeling lonely can carry a very real price, that of feeling nothing at all.


Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.


Sometimes failure isn’t an opportunity in disguise, it’s just you.


Christmas makes everything twice as sad.


Failure is authentic, and because it’s authentic, it’s real and genuine, and because of that, it’s a pure state of being.


Salad bars are like a restaurant’s lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy.


Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It’s like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat.


Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back. Loaning books is the same as giving them away.


Gap clothing allows you to look like you’re from nowhere and anywhere. It also allows you to look as though you’re not particularly from the present, future or past, either.


Flying dreams mean that you’re doing the right thing with your life.


If nothing else, we simply get used to being alive.


Life always kills you in the end, but first it prevents you from getting what you want.


Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation.


Every single moment is a coincidence.


Today sure is a beautiful day. Yessiree, nothing could possibly go wrong on a beautiful day like today.

words by douglas coupland

print by julia pott

Today, I will try to...

via purple diary

9/14-9/18: An out-of-sorts sort of week

This has been a really strange out-of-body-out-of-sorts sort of week. Is it because that damned Mercury is in retrograde again? (Whatever the fuck that means, I just know it ain't good) I feel like I'm sleepwalking.

My mouth feels so strange right now. It tastes as though I just ate an entire jar of jelly beans and washed it down with a dirty bucket of kool aid. At least tomorrow is one day closer to the weekend. I hope to recharge and perhaps regain some clarity then.

Oh, hey! I know, let's bust through this midweek funk with some thanks. Presently, I am thankful for:

♥ Megan, because she's always so much fun to be around. I've never not had a good time with her. She doesn't know this (she does now!) but sometimes when she's talking to me, I just can't help but stare at her beautiful blue irises. They're lined in black, people. It looks like a beautiful enamel cloisonné piece (I learned that term from Antiques Roadshow).

♥ Spending some QT with my dad, introduced him to my favorite beer, Hoegaarden.

♥ Meatlo---I mean... sweet boys that will go out of their way to look up meatloaf recipes online and learn to cook you your favorite food.

♥ Downy Wrinkle Releaser, because ironing is for the birds. (Hey! That should be their new slogan.)

♥ Dry sponges. My god, small pleasures, friends. I derive so much joy from looking into my sink and seeing a dehydrated shriveled sponge. Never fails. I feel proud, responsible, and satisfied.

What's on your list (big or small)?

via crappytaxidermy

NYFW Ad Nauseam

Oh, don't mind me, I've contracted a severe case of fashionweekoverloaditis. Perhaps it's all the twattering, or it could just be sour grapes because I'm not there whooping it up. That said, I think the MJ dress above is absolutely stunning. Very "a-ha."

U.F.: Leftovers Edition

OMFG. I'm completely obsessed with these leather goodies from Spooner+Watts. Over the effing moon. I love products that mimic disposable items.

How incredible would it be to carry your phone/lipstick/cashola around in this little pigskin lunch box at a party, as if you were carrying left overs? (Clearly, I don't attend parties very often.)

I'm also loving this leathahh envelope. Clutching one in your pit and walking fast, with conviction, can make anyone appear ultra important. No one has to know that you have an US Weekly & sudoku tucked away in there. TCB, all the way.

Their shopping bags are pretty goddamned adorable, too. Reminiscent of the retardedly expensive Chanel ones. I'm glad that the website doesn't show its price, else my little dreams would be obliterated in a heartbeat. You know it's going to be astronomically expensive when they can't even bear to show you the price up front.

via disneyrollergirl

PIKA-DON

The atomic bomb detonation was described as a brilliant light, "pika" followed by a thunderous blast, “don.”

For me, there is nothing more gut wrenching, soul sucker-punching, than hearing the stories of Japanese A-bomb survivors. It just twists up my insides and invisibly chokes me like no other. This past August marked the 64th anniversary of the bombings of Nagasaki & Hiroshima. I sat in a hotel room curled up in a ball, biting my pillow, while watching specials on the History channel.

It's sad and so selfish to say, that most of the survivors now are slowly disappearing, and for this, I am somewhat relieved. Relieved that they will finally experience some peace, also relieved not to have such a grisly reminder of what humans are capable of doing to other humans. The saddest thing of all is instead of being honored and admired by their fellow citizens, survivors are shunned and cast aside.

Can't even begin to imagine dealing with horrific scenes and pain they've witnessed, felt. The are made of a stronger substance than I. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy...

Hiroko Yoshida (then, 18) was exposed to the A-bomb in Ote-machi where she was trapped under her collapsed house. She crawled out of the rubble with her younger brother Yusaku (then, 6), and they fled barefoot toward the suburbs from a city bursting into flame.

Hiroko's hands, shoulders, and legs were severely injured. Yusaku, who appeared uninjured, fell ill on the 21st. His hair fell out, he developed a high fever, his nose bled heavily, and he died on the 24th.

On the 21st, the day Yusaku's hair fell out, Hiroko also lost her hair in large clumps. Her condition worsened for some time, but under the devoted care of her mother, Kyo (then,46), she managed to survive. In preparation for the worst, Kyo had kept this hair to treasure as a reminder of Hiroko.

Nobuko Oshita (then 13) was a first-year student at First Hiroshima Prefectual Girls High School. She was exposed to the bomb at her building demolition work site and fled to Koi. There she was found by relief corps workers, who returned her to her parents in Otake. She died late that night. She sewed this summer uniform herself.

TAKAKURA Akiko 高蔵 信子 (たかくらあきこ)

A woman driven by unbearable thirst trying to catch black raindrops in her mouth.

喉が渇き黒い雨を口で受ける女性

Year of Birth: 1925 \ Age at time of blast: 19 \ Age when image created: 49

Date of image depicted: 1945/8/6

Distance from hypocenter in meters: 270

Ground Zero 1945: Pictures by Atomic Bomb Survivors

Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum

dildos, butt burgers, & ass fuck

What are you trying to do, Top Chef, KILL ME?!?

Of course, we can't forget about Jeff & his unfortunately named employer from last season:

Then came Top Chef Masters, where Art Smith made this bodacious butt burger:

And now we have a gay guy named ASH FULK?!

Am I the only immature one here? Or do y'all see this too?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU SEXY MANBEAST, YOU!

p.s. Here's a much better birthday tribute by Vanity Farm

via fuckyeahkarllargerfeld

Happy Thursday! I'm over at Bits of Beauty today, doling out advice. As most of you know, I'm categorically unqualified to advise anyone on anything- proceed with caution. Nonetheless, I'm extremely honored that Ms. Jenn asked me to participate in this lovely series.

09.29.09 10:00

More Pastels by Karin Bubaš

via Bevel & Boss

Prescription:

Take 3,235 balloons,

a shit ton of helium,

& call me in the morning.

Get with the programme(s)!

A list of fall shows that I'm chomping at the bit to lay my peepers on:

1. 30 Rock
2. Gossip Girl
3. The Sarah Silverman Programme
4. Glee (quit teasing me with this director's cut shit)
5. Nip/Tuck (i pray at the altar of R. Murphy)
6. The Office (sorta)
7. The City/The Hills (shhhhh!)

What are your must-sees?

"satan sucks, but you're the best"

satan sucks, but you're the best

holy smokes you past the test

when i'm with you i feel blessed

my chinchilla

satan sucks, but you're okay

since you came things go my way

here tomorrow, here today

my chinchilla

one day i woke up and everything was beautiful

my troubles had all fallen out the window

satan sucks but you're divine

sitting pretty by my side

my oh my, chinchilla

Chanel A/W2008

Selfsuffering succotash!

Please excuse me while I get all new agey on y'all's asses. This too, I'm sure, will pass. In yoga the other day, the instructor talked about suffering. How we, as humans, suffer. We're here to suffer. Hahaha. We suffer both physically and mentally. I especially liked the part when she talked about selfsuffering. Through unnecessary worry or procrastination (I've been heavy on the latter lately) we cause/create avoidable suffering to ourselves. Now that I'm aware of this, I still can't manage to change. Breathe in, breathe out x 3.

photo via ffffound

PSL PSA!

...now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

09.01.09: Gratitudes

1. Seeing this Marnie Weber collage on Drollgirl pretty much made my life.
2. Reinstated my yoga membership and had a major lax sesh with Kathleen Turner (aka Rita) in the middle of an otherwise hectic day. She's so amazing for the soul.
3. Finding out that Bell's swollen palate was not a tumor. The vet said that it happens often in small doggins. I'm also very grateful that my mom took her in for me, so that I didn't have to miss work. Sheesh, lots of dog lump scares lately, no?
4. Still reeling from the best facial of my life. If you're in the area and are in need of a deep cleanse & glowing skin, check out iBrow & Skin Spa - Scottsdale, AZ -tell Kristen I sent you.
5. Having the entire week off from school! Woohoo! Par-tay!
6. Three day weekend coming up, holler! Mini road trip to the Congress to see Neil Hamburger & HarMar & eat at Feast. Yum.

Hope all is swimmingly,

xoxo,
go